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Future-fucking (verb): The mental act of obsessing or ruminating over a future set of circumstances which severs the individual from the present moment and creates a storm of anxiety and suffering.
First, I would like to note that being overcome with feelings of dread and worry?or, conversely, feelings of desire and excitement in regard to future events?is hardly a characteristic exclusive to addicts. ?These feelings and distracting imaginings affect individuals from all walks of life. ?Addicts just happen to alleviate these sensations with their favorite chemicals. ?Being a strong proponent of the idea that this behavior of the brain is part of the (modern) human condition, I see future-fucking as a symptom of, and in direct correspondence with, the world?s cultural illusion that, ?once I have this thing or meet that woman or get that job or make this much money, I will be happy.? ?It?s a stick-and-carrot trick we play on ourselves. ?What is unapparent is that the stick and carrot happen to be tied around our necks, deceiving us into trudging on towards the false notion of some great reward.
The funny truth is that you never really get there. ?That place doesn?t exist and those circumstances never manifest. ?The reward almost always eludes us. ?Because I have experienced this phenomenon repeatedly throughout my life and continue to do my best to understand it, I offer my insight without a shred of cynicism or fatalism. ?As a depressive character, I have repeatedly found myself discontent with my circumstances.? Rather than wallow in despair, I would typically venture out on what seemed to be the most constructive path and pursue something: a girl, a drug, a job, a party ? anything that held the potential to improve my emotional and existential state of being.
Upon finding what I was looking for, I would hold on to it for dear life (this was particularly true of certain drugs because they were predictable and produced consistent results). ?After all, what was my happiness without this or that? ?However, those feelings of bliss and security I so desperately craved would wane. ?What goes up must come down. ?Inevitably, I would be off chasing after the next fix once my craving and sadness reappeared. ?It was only after years of cyclic inner turmoil and getting clean that I realized what madness was ? not doing the same thing and expecting different results, but doing the same thing and getting no results.
Future-fucking is so prevalent in modern society, and so often encouraged through advertising and mass media, that it is easy to think of it as normal and benign. ?Aren?t having the nicest car, most money, hottest sneakers, and best body what everyone wants and thus needs to be happy? ?The advertising world would certainly have you think so, but their only goal is to sell you the impression that you are severely lacking in terms of stuff and that they can help solve your predicament. ?They sell you the disease and the cure ? how convenient for them.
Maybe you won?t experience what I have. ?That?s fine. ?But think to yourself for a moment: how many times have you made your happiness contingent upon external factors and situations only to find that once the stars appear to have aligned, you discover that you are no happier than before or already plotting the next thrill, where you will surely find ?it?? ?What, then, is the solution? ??Find and dwell in the present. ?Accept current circumstances. ?It is not necessary to judge them as good or bad or imperfect or perfect, but simply as they are. ?There is no sense in psychically fighting what is. ?This doesn?t happen easily. ?It takes time and effort to stop unconsciously torturing ourselves.
I do not claim to have a quick fix or perfect solution, but I have had a series of realizations that allow me to become aware of when I begin to future-fuck myself into infinity and how to break free from it. ?I have also come to learn that happiness is not a destination, nor is it a solitary moment in time. ?Happiness is an ongoing process of adding to the sum of cumulative experiences that one finds meaningful or valuable. ?It is the result of achieving one?s goals through a means of practicing his or her values as best as possible.
The future can often appear alien, hostile and intimidating to anyone (i.e., almost everyone) who places great significance on what their lives will look like down the line. ?There?s nothing wrong with that.? In fact, it is rather normal, despite never working in our advantage. ?What good is worry?
For addicts in particular, projecting into the future can be nerve-wracking, overwhelmingly unpleasant and lead to relapse. ?In my experience, the more emphasis I placed on the future being better or more idealistic than my present moment, the less peace and more anxiety I had. ?By imagining this perfect scene in the future, I knowingly created an expectation. ?Once that time arrived, the situation never looked and never felt like what I really wanted. ?My expectations were rarely met and this led to disappointment; essentially a package deal of resentment towards myself, the past and the present moment.
My goal was happiness, of course, but by making my happiness contingent upon the ends I arrived at, I had basically set myself up for a great existential bummer.
By Cameron C.
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